• Sergio Salotto

A Need to Love

Updated: Nov 14, 2021

First written 16/01/1993; published 2015; latest update 14 November 2021


A small, powerful, four-letter word given as many interpretations as the people expressing it. Given the way it is used to achieve acceptance, personal gratification and satisfaction, power and control, manipulation, to justify abuse, seek forgiveness, and to justify many other human destructive behaviours and actions, this is possibly amongst the most misunderstood and abused of all words.

It is written, that Prophets, Messiahs, and other Messengers of God have walked among us preaching the message of love to mean unconditional acceptance. Yet, each day, we learn of global sufferance, inequality and discrimination, famine, wanton destruction of our environmental and ecological systems, war, violence, crime and mass poverty for the vast majority of humanity and Earth, versus (much) obscene abundant wealth for a 1% minority. Where is unconditional acceptance and genuine love in all this? Clearly, there isn’t any.

Why is it so difficult, if not impossible, for man to do this thing called love, to put into practice unconditional acceptance of everyone and everything? We find it difficult because we do not practice and experience true unconditional acceptance and love of ourselves.

We get taught and conditioned from birth to believe that the “doing of love” manifests through acts of being:

  • caring, friendly, warm and considerate towards others

  • understanding, forgiving

  • compromising oneself out of consideration of the needs of others

  • humble, submissive, charitable

  • considerate of other people’s emotions and feelings

  • unselfish and thinking of others before oneself.

Truly noble teachings. But how does that translate into the unconditional acceptance of Self? How do these bring us harmony, allow us to exercise freedom of choice, experience inner peace and contentment, ensure that everyone and everything on our planet enjoys everything available unconditionally equal? It simply doesn’t.

To find the way to practice unconditional acceptance, love, we must have the willingness to question our teachings, beliefs and resulting behaviours. We need to have the willingness to consider and accept the possibility that perhaps these beliefs may in fact be wrong, that there may be another way.

We need to start by considering our expectations in life. What we need and want to feel loved without kidding ourselves that we want nothing. Like, how do we feel when someone rejects or ignores us? Do we experience anger, frustration, depression, stress, blame them, etc? In such circumstances, do you really feel OK about yourself, the situation, the other person/group/company? Or do such situations trigger feelings and beliefs of being not good enough? And in such moments, do you accept yourself and everything unconditionally? Not likely. Because they have not met your expectations of being accepted unconditionally.

Conversely, when our expectations get fulfilled, we feel great, experience loving emotions and feelings, we feel accepted and loved.

That shows how our feelings of experiencing love depend on our expectations being met. That means that what we are truly experiencing is conditional, not true unconditional acceptance and love. True or real unconditional acceptance (love) is something that does not have any dependencies, conditions, circumstances, or expectations.

We can therefore define the meaning of true love as: The Unconditional Acceptance of What Is (no expectations, no judgments, no preconceptions, no discrimination (of any kind), no provisos)

The Unconditional Acceptance of What Is, is not a practice of living out a belief or ideology. It is something real; something that manifests through the practical doing of without dependencies on conditions, circumstances or expectations.

To embrace and live by this, we must first, and foremost, truly accept ourselves unconditionally and be truly manifesting who and what we really are. Not driven by emotional needs and/or fears such as: fear of rejection, need for acceptance, have feelings and beliefs of being “not good enough,” need to be in control (situations or relationship), chase after successful, fear being a failure and so on? Our emotional needs that lead us to compromise and our fears of the possible consequences if we do not compromise.

The only reason we compromise is because we do not truly accept ourselves unconditionally for Who and What We Are—our true Self. That does not allow us to experience and practice True love of Self and this is the root source of our frustration, anger, stress, depression, resentment, and all other emotional issues we deal with every day that lead to our related physical and emotional dis-eases.

If we do not exercise and practice unconditional acceptance of Who We Are, it is not possible for us to accept unconditionally (love) any one or any thing else either. It simply is not available to us—because we cannot recognise and identify with it.

To live out of true Love of Self is to be authentic; to manifest Who and/or What We truly are regardless of conditions or circumstances. That represents exercising self-caring, love and to be living life, doing only what is really important for our life—fulfilling our life’s passion, your Life Purpose/Vision.

That is to live life liking what you do, as opposed to living doing what you like.

The difference between living life from a point of meaning, versus doing things to create meaning.



#love #truelove #trueself #unconditionallove

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