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A Need to Love

January 16, 1993

Love.
 
A small, powerful, four-letter word given as many interpretations as the people expressing it. Given the way it is used to achieve acceptance, personal gratification and satisfaction, power and control, manipulation, to justify abuse, seek forgiveness, and to justify many other human destructive behaviours and actions, this is possibly amongst the most misunderstood and abused of all words.

 

It is written that Prophets, Messiahs, Messengers of God and the like have walked among us preaching the message of love to mean unconditional acceptance. Yet, each day, we hear and read of global sufferance, war and destruction, violence and pain, crime, mass poverty versus abundant and (even) obscene wealth, inequality and discrimination, famine and wanton destruction of our environmental and ecological systems. Where is the unconditional acceptance and real love in all this? Clearly, there isn't any.
 
Why is it so difficult, if not seemingly impossible, for man to live by or do this thing called love - to practice unconditional acceptance?
 
It is difficult because we are not experiencing true unconditional acceptance and love of ourselves within. Instead, from birth we are taught and conditioned to believe that the “doing of love” is manifested by such acts as being:
 
•    caring, friendly, warm and considerate towards others
•    understanding and forgiving
•    willing to compromise oneself for the sake of considering others' needs
•    humble, submissive, charitable
•    considerate of other people’s emotions and feelings
•    unselfish and thinking of others before oneself
 
Truly noble teachings. But how do these result in the unconditional acceptance of Self? How do these bring harmony, allow us to exercise freedom of choice, experience inner peace and contentment, ensure that everyone and everything on our planet are permitted to equally and unconditionally enjoy everything that planet earth has available?

 

To find the answer, we need to have the willingness to question these teachings, these beliefs and resultant behaviours. We need to have the willingness to consider and accept the possibility that perhaps these beliefs may in fact be wrong, that there may be another way.

 

Consider the expectations you have for your life, what you want or need to feel loved – and don’t kid yourself into claiming that you don’t have any about anything. How do you feel when someone rejects you, ignores you? Do you experience anger, depression, frustrated, stress, being unloved etc? In such circumstances do you really feel OK about yourself, the other person or the situation? Or do these trigger your feelings and belief of being not good enough? And in such moments, are you able to accept yourself unconditionally, able to accept all things unconditionally? Not likely. Conversely, when your expectations are met you feel great, experience loving emotions and feelings, you feel loved and accepted.

 

What this shows is how your love experiences are dependent on your expectations being met and fulfilled. What you are experiencing is conditional love, not true unconditional acceptance. True or real unconditional acceptance (real love) is something that does not have any dependencies, conditions, circumstances or expectations. 

 

The meaning of true love can therefore be defined as:
 
The Unconditional Acceptance of What Is
(no expectations, no judgments, no preconceptions, no discrimination (of any kind), no provisos)

 

The Unconditional Acceptance of What Is, cannot be practiced as a belief or ideology. It is something real, something that manifests through the doing of (by the individual) in a practical way without dependencies on any conditions, circumstances or expectations.
 

To be able to embrace and live this, you first and foremost need to truly accept yourself unconditionally. Are you truly being and manifesting who you really are? Or are you driven by emotional needs and/or fears such as: fear of rejection, need to be accepted, experience feelings and belief of being not good enough, need to be in control (situations or relationship), need to be successful, fear being a failure, etc? Do you ever compromise yourself to satisfy your needs and fears of  the possible consequences of not compromising?

 

The only reason you compromise is because you do not truly accept yourself unconditionally for Who You Are - your true Self. And that does not allow you to experience and practice the true love of Self. Which is the root source of your frustration, anger, stress, depression, resentment, and all other emotional issues and other related dis-eases.

 

If you do not exercise and practice unconditional acceptance of Who You Are, it is not possible for you to to unconditionally accept (love) any one or any thing else either. It simply is not available to you because you cannot identify with it.

 

To live out of true love of Self is to be authentic, to be manifesting who and/or what you truly are regardless of conditions or circumstances. To accept oneself unconditionally is to exercise self-caring, love and to be living your life doing what is really important for your life; fulfilling your life’s passion, your Life Purpose/Vision.

 

It is about living your life liking what you do – as opposed to living doing what you like. The difference between living your life because you have meaning versus looking and chasing for a meaning.

 

YOUR LIFE CAN BE DIFFERENT

 

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